Plans
Written by Amy on December 27th, 2009 at 8:53 pmI’ve spent a some of the last week continuing to think about the end of next year. For those not caught up, my contract is ending at work. I touched on my worry in this random post a few weeks ago.
In some ways, I’m happy for the opportunity to stay at home. If you’re one of the ones that has read here for years, you know wanting to stay at home full time is nothing new. You’d think I’d be excited about it. By this time next year Lexi will be in Kindergarten and I know after-school care is not the end of the world. But I’ve done the (in-home) day care thing and I’ve done the at-home (work at home) thing and bottom line is I want to be the one that takes them to school and picks them up. Not to mention what to do about summers. I don’t begrudge anyone that does it. I’m not one to compare. But for me, I just don’t want to work full-time out of the house.
However, I’m not opposed to the idea of working. In fact, part of my concern is not having a job. The security. The money. The pride (in a good way). The health insurance. The money. The friends. The time away. The money. The coding (HA). I do like my job. I like having a job. So that part of me wants to continue working. And did I mention the money?
Today’s sermon was about fear and how sometimes fear is an opportunity to have a close encounter with God. I’ve heard Beth Moore say just because something is hard doesn’t mean it’s wrong. So I know this transition will be different for me. And I know we have a lot of decisions to make. The important thing is to not let the worry in. Don’t let it take over. Look for God in the next year. Realize that this IS an invitation for a close encounter with Him. I just need to keep my eyes open, my ears listening and remember once again…
Jeremiah 29:11
11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Romans 8:28
28And we know that all things work together for good to those who love Him
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Putting Together My “Crazy Love” Puzzle
Written by Amy on October 5th, 2009 at 1:38 pmI keep recommending Crazy Love by Francis Chan and I do recommend the book. But I think there’s a bigger picture brewing that has me so excited about it. I could start the story when I stood inside a Books a Million and spotted it on the shelves among other recommended books but I think I’ll start a few years back.
This is a long one but a good one…
Posted in church, friends and/or family, spiritual stuff, sunday school, youth group | 5 Comments »
Twitter and Facebook: We’re Taking a Break
Written by Amy on September 13th, 2009 at 2:48 pmWords seem to fail me today. Coherent, flowing words anyway.
I haven’t blogged about it much but we have decided to attend North Rock Hill for the foreseeable future. Both Scott and I feel so peaceful, just so right about this decision. I look forward to church every week and just know that God is moving and speaking to me. I have a list 3 pages long now of all the very specific ways I hear Him speaking lately. Many at the church, some in books, some in songs. The amazing thing is all 3 pages boil down to about 5 themes. God is speaking. I think I mentioned several posts ago that I’m hearing all these thing but I wasn’t sure how they were tying together. Well, today, a few of those things came together in the new series at church called “What if”.
The church is basically launching a 10 year plan for the church. It’s a plan for the church to refocus and become an Acts church again. To quit talking and do some walking. To stop looking at number and dollars as a guide and looking in the community and people around us to see if we’re successful as Christians. It’s all the things that have been so close to my heart and in many of these things God has been speaking to me about. I couldn’t be more excited about this new series and being a part of this new direction.
And in preparation for this, the pastor has asked everyone to fast for 40 days and do a devotion they have prepared. Something like Lent. We’ll be giving up something that takes up our time and attention and replacing it to focus on God.
I’m giving up…
*Big breath*
Twitter and Facebook.
I was just going to do Twitter but I knew I’d just start posting my updates on Facebook and defeat the purpose of refocusing so I’m just doing both.
Now, I am going to continue to check in on my non-personal Twitter accts for the purposes of my other blogs. It just happens to be the way I get information so I can post those. I see those blogs as a part-time job and I don’t plan to give those up. For these 40 days, I’m going to stop sharing of myself and try to share it with God. I’m going to stop getting affirmation from Twitter and Facebook and get it from God. For 40 days, I’m just going to stop. God has already been speaking and I just know if I can give even just a few more minutes a day to concentrate on Him He’ll speak even more.
So that’s that.
It will be a bit of a change for me. I keep up with many people through those sites. Many keep up with me. I foresee many more emails and phone calls but that can and will be good.
So, here we go.
Starting now.
Posted in church, spiritual stuff | 7 Comments »
He loves you
Written by Amy on August 23rd, 2009 at 9:04 pm
My heart is so full. The past two weeks of church have been almost overwhelming. It’s to the point I’m writing things down just trying to make sense of it. I feel like God is weaving together some sort of message to me. I have a grasp on the threads but not quite the tapestry. But there is one thing I know to tell you.
He loves you
He loves you
He loves you
He loves you
Posted in church, spiritual stuff | 2 Comments »
When No Became Go
Written by Amy on August 16th, 2009 at 8:01 pmThis was written Sunday a week ago but didn’t feel released to post it.
Scott and I have contemplated leaving our church on and off for years. The church we attend now is the same church Scott has attended since he was two weeks old, his mother since she was a child. So it’s a huge deal for him to leave. Most of the time I mentioned leaving to him he would put it off. Once, before we had kids, we visited a church in Charlotte but never actually felt the push to make the move. When I asked God about it, I’d hear No, No, No. Things got better at church, things got bad, better, bad, better, bad. We were always on a roller coaster but I never felt released to leave.
This past year both Scott and I were beginning to see more things we didn’t like. Honestly? Inside I was more than ready to go. Him? He seemed torn. He knew it was bad but wanted to do what he could to make the needed changes. But about June his mind was made up it was time to go. We visited a friend’s church. Both of us agreed it was a great church but we didn’t feel the pull to go there again. We continued to attend at our church.
Things got horrible at church. We both felt like it was the writing on the wall. It was really time to go. But we still didn’t want to leave when it was bad plus we had our positions we’d agreed to fill until September. After lots of prayer and conversations between ourselves and mentors, Scott realized he could do no more.
And finally in July, I heard God’s No, No, No turned into a Go, Go, Go.
Same for Scott.
Trust me, it’d have to be a God thing to move Scott from that church. I had long since (as in years) given up on pushing. He knew where I stood but he also knew I would stay at the church as long as he wanted. And truthfully? That church was family to me. I got married there, I had my children there. I became a Choir Member, Sunday School teacher and Youth Leader there. My kids adore it there. I’d been there since I was 18 and it was home. We saw some people in that church more than the majority of our family.
Last week we visited another church and again today. Wednesday we took our names off of “the list” of leaders for the coming church year beginning in September. Apparently word had already gotten around that we were leaving because someone mentioned it to us right after Wednesday’s service.
Some people are upset. sad. mad. confused. disappointed. hurt.
I feel pulled in so many directions.
Emma had a breakdown in the car yesterday. She put her head down on her legs and cried. She just wanted to go back. I searched deep, wanting to make sure if my child had to cry, it was for a divine purpose. I still heard Go, Go, Go.
It hurts to be hurting people.
I was somewhat depressed for a lot of the afternoon today, still uncertain exactly where we were going and yet knowing I couldn’t go back. And disappointing so many people I loved in the process. How could I get through this?
Today I was getting the vacuum cleaner out for Scott thinking, Lord, maybe I’m just not strong enough for this one. And I heard Go, Go, Go again. And I just wanted to say, I know! That’s my problem! But then I listened again and it was more like a Go! Go! Go! And I had a picture of God standing on the sidelines of a race cheering me on Go! Go! Go! You can do it!
I still don’t know what’s ahead of us exactly. Emma will still complain about going back. Others will still be disappointed. Who knows, maybe we’re being led away just to be led back. But knowing God is cheering us on makes the race a little easier to run.
Posted in church | 3 Comments »
Mid-Week Random
Written by Amy on August 5th, 2009 at 1:11 pm
I feel the need to do a brain dump. No fancy stuff today.
I’ve been on Internet overload since this weekend. I had all the Danny Gokey hoorah from the concert and then two of my other blogs were involved in the TCAs. Blogging has been a lot of work the past few days to say the least. I actually turned off Twitter yesterday afternoon. I guess all of us have a limit after all.
One of the funniest things I’ve seen in a long time is Scott teaching the girls how to give wedgies the other night. Their little Barbie undies stretching to their shoulders and their tanned bottoms were almost too much. It was one of those times Scott and I looked at each other and belly laughed at our kids.
Scott has ripped apart the hall bath and will be laying the tile for in there today.
The kitchen counter top should be in at any time.
My bathroom lighting still hasn’t shipped.
A diamond fell out of my ring again. I think it’s the same one as before.
Yesterday Lexi accidentally knocked my non-novel off my desk and it tore the back cover. It gave me the courage to actually write in the book to edit it. I’ve spent some time doing that. It really makes a difference reading it on paper. I don’t know why. But it’s more clear than ever that it needs a lot of work.
Emma goes back to school in two weeks. She seems to be ready to go back. I don’t care to see 7am any time soon.
Scott’s new motorcycle still won’t work. He’s gotten a new battery, replaced the gas and cleaned the spark plugs. He has a neighbor coming to look at it tonight. We’re still not sure whether it’s a keeper.
We visited a new church Sunday. We all liked it.
We haven’t been swimming much because the pool had a bad case of algae. Scott cleaned it and dumped all the chemicals in today. Hopefully this weekend we can return to the swimming.
Posted in children, church, what i did today | 2 Comments »
Jesus Wants to Save Christians
Written by Amy on July 24th, 2009 at 12:55 pmI can not get this book out of my head and it’s a good thing. It’s difficult to describe what it’s about. But I would say it is a theology book that begins at Creation, describes the Jewish history through Christ. He talks a lot about Egypt and Solomon and America. He talks a lot about the poor, the needy, widows and children. He hits at the core of what has always been close to my heart…we need to be Jesus to people. Christianity isn’t about pushing religion down people’s throat. It isn’t about making sure you’re right. It’s not about committees and classes and agendas. It’s about doing good (I wrote a post about this and I can NOT find it). Helping, giving.
There are a few quotes that I’m not sure will transfer out of context but they help me remember.
A priest shows you what his or her god is like.
The answer leads us to a universal truth: God needs a body.
Exile is when you fail to convert your blessings into blessings for others.
When the goal of a church is to get people into church services and then teach them how to invite people to come to church services, so that they in turn will bring others to more church services – that’s attendance at church services….Church is people. People who live in a certain way in the world. People who have authority in the world, but authority that comes from breaking themselves open and pouring themselves out so that the world will be healed.
A church is an organization that exists for the benefit of nonmembers. If our church was taken away – from our city, our neighborhood, our region – who would protest?
If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a dozen times, God has blessed me and my family. Right now I’m trying to figure out how to convert it into blessings for others. And yes, Scott and I give a lot…time and money. But somewhere deep down I’ve done it because I want to but also because somewhere down there I KNOW that exile will happen if I don’t. God doesn’t bless for you to hoard. I’m so scared of wandering in the desert. Of Babylon. Of America. Of me.
And I’m scared for so many churches out there who would be missed by no one but their members. We’re not doing church right. Most of us aren’t doing Christianity right.
And just as I’m writing this, this song came on iTunes and it seems like a good way to close this one.
‘Cause we are not okay, we’re not alright, and we need to pray for help
Forgive us for our pride, Oh God, Oh God, please save us from ourselves
Something’s Got To Change:
Posted in church, spiritual stuff | 2 Comments »
Change is a-Comin’
Written by Amy on June 30th, 2009 at 12:24 pmThe thing about a blog is it’s therapy for me. But then when I need it most, I can’t use it. And I hate when people don’t and/or can’t share their heart on their blog when they’re hurting most. Being there for one another in our times of need is when the blogging community means the most. I guess it’s its own worst enemy. Because sometimes blogging and real life clash and you just can’t blog what you want. But let me say change is coming for us.
I can say our youth pastor resigned this week. I can say I’m hurt. And I can say my manager announced four people on my team at work including me may not have a job as of December 31. And really that’s probably all you need to know to figure out my heart hurts and I’m stressed and I could probably write another book about all of it.
Please pray.
Posted in church, work | 8 Comments »
VBS 2009
Written by Amy on June 26th, 2009 at 10:09 amWe’ve been attending our church’s VBS every evening this week. We did Go Studio if you’re at all familiar with the curriculum available out there. If you remember last year, Emma had a really hard time. I’m happy to report both girls have loved VBS this year. They were excited to find out they’d have a Bible story, food, crafts, games and music, oh my! It also helped Emma knowing her best friend from Sunday School was going to be there.
I was moved from 3rd/4th grade to 1st/2nd. I was willing but hesitant at first. I’ve always thought that 3/4 were so well-behaved, compliant and independent. I have to say though my 20 1st and 2nd graders have been little angels. They’ve eaten up the Bible Stories, shocking the teachers in that class and the missions class at how much they remember and comprehend. And I found they are just as independent as the older group.
So, in all, it’s been a great week. My girls are enjoying themselves and I’m having a good week as well.
I do have to say since Emma is in the “big kids” lessons, I’m paying MUCH more attention to the lessons and trying to find out what she’s learning. It’s never been so important to me that the gospel is shared clearly and other moral lessons are given. VBS might seem like a chore to some workers, but now as a mother of a school-age child, I can tell you that it’s one of the most important weeks of the year!
And for less important things, our opening and closing song this week has been “Ice Cream and Cake”. It apparently was a hit with teenagers during the youth missions trip this year as well. So if you want to know what song and dance is sweeping through the youth of America, here ya go. Imagine 100 kids (and adults!) doing this all at once in a gym. It’s actually pretty fun…and addictive.
Posted in children, church | 1 Comment »
Sunday on Monday
Written by Amy on April 27th, 2009 at 8:34 amThe last 3 weeks we spent time watching Mel Gibson’s Passion of the Christ. We had seen it years ago when it first came out. I cried like a baby when we saw it. In particular, watching the relationship between Jesus and his mother affected me as a young mother. How could she watch him suffer so?
Most of us in the class had watched it before but yesterday. We discussed the things we had missed the first time and there are two things that I knew but just hit me hard.
One, in the movie and in most arenas, Satan is portrayed as someone dark and ugly with hands that need a manicure and an evil sidekick. Sometimes he has horns and tail. Certainly we’d know to stay away. But isn’t that exactly opposite to Satan in our lives? He and his temptations are beautiful. Like Bella to Edward in Twilight (oh yes I did) she was his own brand of heroin. That’s what Satan does. He makes sin gorgeous. That one specific sin we could fall to. You think you’d love it. You’d think it’d be fun. You think you HAVE to do it. Never does Satan make sin look like the horrible thing that it is. Only when you’ve said yes and you’re miles down the road does he show his true nature. Then, he looks ugly. Then you see the consequences of what you’ve done. Then you see the hurt and the regret and the pain. Never doubt that Satan can be beautiful. The Bible says Satan is like a lion prowling for us. It also says we like sheep have gone away. It is when we close our eyes and go blindly into sin that we are entrapped. Let us be wise to the nature of Satan and have our eyes wide open to what we are being drawn into. And not saying that the things of God are not beautiful but that’s just it…we need to be discerning!
The second eye opener was realizing why Jesus says “My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?” on the cross. Why indeed? Can God forsake his Son? Did Jesus regret what he had done? No, in fact, that is the moment that Jesus, fully man, took on the sins of the world. God, in his holiness, could not look on him in his sin and for a split second in history had to turn his face from him. For me, even more proof that Jesus took on MY sin on the cross.
We went on from Sunday School to a church service yesterday where God showed up and we actually had church instead of playing church. Can’t tell you how much I needed that.
Posted in church, spiritual stuff, sunday school | 3 Comments »
Recap of Winter Jam 2009 – Charlotte
Written by Amy on January 12th, 2009 at 8:14 pmWe were able to figure out the kids being juggled between our parents (thanks, ya’ll!) and were happy to be off at 4 yesterday for the concert. Toby Mac was the headline artist and I’ve been a fan of his since the early 90s during his DC Talk days. I thought I’d never seen him but I remembered going to a concert at a church in Charlotte sometime when I was in high school I think. I definitely hadn’t seen him since he went solo.
By the time we got there, the doors were already open although we heard a few of our college students had been there since 1:30 and had 4th row seats. The youth group had to go to the upper deck to sit together. Scott and I and another couple in the youth group moved to be more centered on the stage. A few minutes in our seats, and the college students text us and say they have 4 open spots. Yippee!
The only downside was that we only had our zoom lens assuming we’d be far away so all of our pictures are REALLY close up. From 4th row, I couldn’t get any wide shots at all. No complaining…just sayin.
So here’s the line-up.
Pure NRG. These kiddos were helping to promote PreciousGirlsClub.com, a web site for girls…Emma was already signed up there. Their performance was….well organized yet….peppy. I didn’t even upload a picture of them I just realized.
Stephanie Smith. She was cute as a button (see tutu) and definitely has a big voice. She sang a prayer type song mid-way through the concert and it was amazing. We were still up in the upper deck at this point and I took a picture from the megatron thingy.
Francesca Battistelli. I didn’t get to hear her because I went and ate. Friggin’ $17 for chicken, small fries and a drink. Rip-off. I did hear a lot how pretty she was when I got back. Sorry, that’s all I got. LOL
NewSong sang some great worship songs. I’ve seen them several times in concert. I still love that Nate Sallie is singing with them. I love him! They also sang Arise, My Love and man, that song gets you every time.
Hawk Nelson came out and I have seen them a time or two before as well. Every Little Thing is still my favorite of theirs. They are really fun on stage.
Brandon Heath came out and WOW I was really impressed with him. If you listen to Christian music you might recognize a few of his songs..”I’m Not Who I Was” and “Give Me Your Eyes”. They played a video during that one and it was very thought-provoking.
Finally Toby Mac and his band Diverse City came out and WOW. They did not stop from beginning to end. I may as well and get this out of the way and say Toby looked OLD. And if not old, VERY tired. I wanted to tell him to drink some water and go to bed. See?
Turns out he’s 44. Man, does that make ME feel old?! But he’s still cute as a button when he smiles.
The show was a ton of fun.
And Toby ended it well by jumping it to the crowd at the end. Scott caught him mid air.
Overall a very good concert. Toby Mac was definitely the star of the show and made the night.
I’ve uploaded all my videos although I haven’t labeled them all.
If you’d like to see all the (very upclose) pictures we took, have at it.
Tags: brandon heath, hawk nelson, toby mac, winter jam
Posted in church, music, youth group | 3 Comments »
Sunday School Changes
Written by Amy on September 6th, 2008 at 10:14 pmI’m really not sure if I’ve mentioned this, but Scott and I officially stepped down as Sunday School teachers for this year. We have been teaching the high school students for the past 3 years. I have really enjoyed it and learned so much from it. But I think we are at a point we are getting burned out and need a break. We’re planning to go to a couple’s class which a lot of the younger couples attend and all of them rave over it.
While I will miss my class a lot–especially the few I’ve had all 3 years–tonight it feels really freeing to know I don’t have to plan a lesson, 15 people won’t be watching to see if I’m late for class, I don’t have to bake or buy food in the morning and I can just go in, sit and soak up someone else’s teaching/discussion.
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VBS 2008
Written by Amy on June 27th, 2008 at 10:58 pmVBS Week 2008 is ov-ah. Well, not really. We still have a 3 hour block party to attend tomorrow. But no more responsibility! We had a great week with about 90 kids and 60 workers. It was one of the smoothest ones I’ve seen. One thing I really liked was that crafts, missions, bible class and rec were taught by one person in each for all age groups. Then people like me just carted them around to each. So much less stress.
Emma ended up not doing so great this week. Monday she cried at first then was ok. Tuesday she was fine. Wednesday I found out on Thursday that she cried on and off the whole night. Thursday she floated between Scott and I. I took her to crafts, Scott took her to bible, she stayed with me some and Scott took her to rec but she wouldn’t play so Scott just brought her back to the gym. Tonight Heather agreed to go with us and stayed with her the whole time (thanks Heather! But I think she ended up liking VBS as much as the kids). It worked out great even though Heather said she still wouldn’t play with any of the other kids. I think the problem was the preschool got broken up in to 3s, 4s and 5s and the other 5 year olds are not really her friends since she’s actually an early 5 year old. She’s used to being with the 4 year old class.
She just got so scared and shy when you tried to leave her by herself. She’s fine for Sunday School and preschool but this week was tough. It really, really makes me nervous for school this year.
Emma, in LOST terms, need a constant. She needs one person..whether it’s an adult, a teenager or even another kid that’s her “buddy”. Someone she can always turn around to and say something to or ask questions or hold their hand. And she just didn’t have it this week and she was lost (no pun intended). I am sure in school she will find a little girlfriend and do just fine but wow, she was definitely the high maintenance child this week.
Lexi, on the other hand, was great. When it was time to start, I told her to go sit down with her age group and there she went, not even looking back or saying bye. When the group was singing, she was up and at ‘em trying her best to do all those hand motions and singing. Cute as could be! Oh, Scott told me he saw her grab this little boy she’s been friends with (and I think he goes to their preschool too) and hug him and they kissed each other on the lips! In VBS! That girl, she is something!
Posted in children, church | No Comments »
VBS Week
Written by Amy on June 23rd, 2008 at 10:31 pmToday kicked off VBS Week at church. Makes for two busy weeks for me. This year should be pretty easy going though since basically all I’m doing is leading the kids around to the right room. No teaching this year. Woot woot.
Emma felt like a magnet to me when we first got there. She freaked out with so many people. I finally had to leave her with her teacher and class and she cried. They had to bring her to me and then promise to make butterflies or something. She was fine though once she got to her room and seems excited to go back. That’s the part that scares me about school for her. It’s going to be a room full of strangers and she could freak. out. I guess I should start praying it goes well.
Anyway, this week is basically going to be work and VBS. I did manage to wake up extra early this morning and get the day started before the girls woke up. It made everything else go so much better. Tomorrow I have L, the middle school girl from last summer, coming over to play with the girls so that should be helpful.
Other than that, I can’t imagine much of anything exciting happen this week.
Posted in church, what i did today | 1 Comment »
Julian Drive
Written by Amy on November 13th, 2007 at 11:49 pm
I just found out about this band Julian Drive two weeks ago from my pastor. Our church is known for southern gospel music. Or at least has in the past. The pastor is trying to offer something for the younger generation because he can see he’s losing them. Especially since we don’t have a youth pastor right now.
Well, he saw these guys in concert recently and has since scheduled them to come to our church at the beginning of next year. I am really, really excited about it. They are actually really cool. If you know that song by Hoobastank "The Reason", they have a version of it as well. I can not WAIT to hear that played live.
So tonight we had an initial kick off meeting with a group at the church to raise awareness about it and also get some pledges for them to come. Also, we got a project manager type guy over it. J is doing the accounting and I’m handling the advertising and "computer stuff".
We’re actually now talking about doing this in the local high school auditorium now just because we think it could be a really, really big hit. By then we should have our new youth pastor in place and it will be GREAT to start out with something big like this.
Posted in church, youth group | No Comments »
