P2P

Most Embarrassing Moments

Melissa, Whitney and Christina wrote recently about their most humiliating moments. I’ve blogged about at least two embarrassing moments. And then there is this other post where I mentioned some other embarrassing moments.

Well, it’s time to tell them.  The main reason I don’t want to tell them is because they are bathroom related.  And they are not embarrassing because I was in a big group of people, these happened in almost solitude and I’ve tried  to keep them that way but I think it’s time to share.

#1

I rode the bus home when I was in 7th grade.  The bus dropped us off at a four-way stop  and then I had to walk up a hill, down a hill and then up a last hill where our suburban ranch sat on a hill.  Normally Heather walked home with me and Mom was waiting at home but for whatever reason Heather wasn’t with me and at the time, my mom had taken a job for a short time.  Most of my life growing up she ran her blinds/curtain business from out of the home.

I have always been known to have a big bladder.  My mom tells a story of when I was potty training and held it for a day or something.  I can now and have always been able to “hold it in” for long periods of time.

For whatever reason, I didn’t use the bathroom before I left school one day and I REALLY had to go.  But I figured I could make it.  But my leg was shaking and I was almost literally holding it in on the way home.  And then there was that walk up two hills to our house.

I remember I was wearing white shorts.  I think I had a navy t-shirt and a brown braided belt on.  And I’m pretty sure I had white kids and white socks.  I got up to the yard and realized what kind of emergency state I was in.  I was going to have to throw down my bag and hope I made it.  But then I got to the front door and it was locked. I fumbled for my keys and could. not. unlock the door.  I knew I could make it, I just knew it, but then suddenly I couldn’t.

I looked around and checked to see if anyone was around.  The only problem could be the two kids that lived across the street.  They were in elementary school at the time and probably home.  But no one was outside.  So before I had pee running down my leg, I squatted.  Right there with my clothes on on my front porch.  Why I didn’t think to run to the side of the house or something I don’t know.  So of course when I went, it was a lot of pee.  And it ran down the steps and onto the sidewalk.  The whole time I was just hoping no one decided to go down the road.  And thank goodness, no one did.

I’m not sure of that was more mortifying or the part where I had to walk in the house a mess or maybe when I had to drag the hose around the house to clean off the porch.  What’s funny is when I told my mom and sister this, they had no clue it had happened that day.  Let’s just hope those neighbor kids aren’t telling this story at family functions.

#2

This one might be more embarrassing just because it happened only a few months ago.  I was sick with diarrhea.  I thought I was pretty much done with it so when Scott suggested I ride to the bank with him and the girls, I agreed.  But I decided to stay in the car because I wasn’t feeling so good when we got there.  Scott was taking FOREVER and I could feel it coming on.  I tried to call Scott and get him to come back out but really wondered what that would do since our bank doesn’t have a public bathroom.  I got to the point where I HAD to do something.  So I turned on my mommy voice and told the girls we had to go.  I carefully made my way to the driver’s seat and drove us to the next shopping center over.  The Subway we often go to is there and I knew exactly where the bathroom was.

It wasn’t far, but…I didn’t make it in time.  I didn’t have a full-on accident but let’s just say I had to change when I got home.  I had the girls with me and the bathroom was one room.  And of course the minute I pulled down my pants and sat down the girls very loudly say something to the effect of, “Mommy, why do you have poop in your pants??”  I just prayed no one outside heard.  So I went to the bathroom, the kids continued their child-like questions.  “Mommy, why are you pooping so much?’ “Mommy, you STINK!”  I calmly tried to explain through my hands that were propping up my face that  just like they had accidents sometimes, Mommy had an accident.

This whole time Scott is still at the bank.  It should be way past time for him to come out and without a cell phone, I was very sure he was confused and possibly calling the police or walking home.

Thank goodness when I finally managed to get us out of there, I didn’t get too many stares and Scott was walking around the corner from the bank to the Subway.

So that was it, the most embarrasing that it gets.  And maybe more so now that I’ve actually told people vs. when it happened.  And I promise I’m fully capable of properly getting to and using the toilet.  Who thought of this blog topic anyway??